Author, Musician, Engineer, Lover

Unraveling the Title of My Book

As a musician, I’m often about “phonetics” in my writing. The words I choose to write are often chosen to convey a certain prosaic musical rhythm. So I’ll come right out and say that, phonetically, I’m not terribly in love with the title of my book “How To Sacrifice Your Lover – A Tale of Gaslighting and the Cult of Borderline Personality“ But the what title of the book does Read More

Official Book Release

How to Sacrifice Your Lover – A Tale of Gaslighting and the Cult of Borderline Personality is now available on Amazon.com. “Love is a powerful weapon. We don’t expect people to not scream when guns are fired at them. We don’t expect people to not cry at funerals, or not cheer when they win a million dollars. Do not expect me to just be able to shut down these feelings of love, just because her love for me Read More

Where is the line between “abuse” and “reactive abuse”

One of the fundamental paradoxes I have been struggling with lately has been how my own mental health pertains to abuse vs “reactive abuse”. “Abuse” is pretty commonly understood to be one person committing acts of physical, mental, or emotional harm to another person. But less commonly known is “reactive abuse”. “Reactive Abuse” is where one person drives another person to their breaking point for the purpose of making the Read More

I’ve joined a group for sufferers of Histrionic Personality Disorder

Although I do no have an official diagnosis (diagnosis will take time), I joined a facebook group for HPD suffers. Whereas I, up until this point, befriended all kinds of people in groups and on TikTok relating to Borderline Personality Disorder in order to see if I could find correlations between their behaviors and Inari’s behavior from my book (and found tons and tons of colleations)… I never really stopped Read More

Did Yuki really share ALL of this writing with Inari as it was written?

As you may or may not have read in my book, “How to Sacrifice Your Lover”, it is revealed early on that Yuki is sharing the book with Inari as it is written, chapter by chapter. But why would Yuki share things with Inari that were critical of her? Did Yuki really share all of these things? Well… whereas Yuki was hungry for for Inari to understand him completely, and Read More

A deeper dive into “Luna and the Destroyer”

If you’ve read my book, “How to Sacrifice Your Lover”… you’ll recall that the main character, Yuki, is working on an epic piece of music that he can’t seem to finish. The piece of music is a real thing, and unfortunately… still unfinished. Yuki describes it as a “concept album” that “starts off sad, then just goes downhill from there”…. the goal being to make the worlds saddest and most Read More

Minor Incidents of Gaslighting that we Experience Every Day, and Even Encourage

Gaslighting is more than just a simple lie. I first heard about gaslighting when a friend of mine pointed out to me that I was a victim of this gross form of psychological abuse. Some people understand it to be one person trying to convince another person that they’re crazy by simply saying “you’re crazy, you need therapy”. But it is NOT that. Gaslighting is a spooky sort of emotional/psychological Read More

What is “normal” psychology?

I am currently Pondering the Definition of “Normal” psychology. What really is “normal”? I suppose psychologists define normal using some kind of survey… maybe they use a collection of brains… then define “normal” to be how a majority of brains would react to a given stimulus. But I have also been pondering how it is that we all go through life with internal struggles… and nobody can really truly know Read More

What does it really mean to be “crazy”?

Being the toxically introspective person I can often be, I have been recently pondering the definition of the term “crazy” in an effort to more succinctly summarize the concepts contained within this book I finished last year. If we are asked to imagine a “crazy person” in our head, most of us would imagine a psychopath… violent maybe… murderous…. angry… confused… ugly, outside and in. But… this definition of “crazy”… Read More

where is lover’s anonymous?

I’ve posted about “impulse” before. but I want to speak of it in a different way. To quote my own book, [sic] “We’re all human. We all sometimes fall victim to our compulsions and impulses. I try to be forgiving of the impulsive behavior of others, because I often fall victim to my own.” But in recent days, as I reconnected with someone I lost last year, after smashing our Read More

Two People, Who Don’t Dance, Dancing

This is diary entry of sorts, building upon events from the epilogue of my book. It’s been an “interesting” week, if not “good”… culminating in a tornado of “bizarre”. Disclaimer: since alcohol is a huge contributing factor to this story, I would not trust the accuracy of the statements and events within… and I would not take the actions of either parties seriously… … but I woke up this morning Read More