An Open Letter to the Survivors of Waco, 30 years later

Gaslighting. It is what my book is about, and what this website is about. And Waco is a perfect example of “Religious Gaslighting”. So having just watched Netflix’s latest, of many documentaries, Waco American Apocalypse, I feel compelled to speak out. I’ll be frank, I fucking hate gaslighting, and I hate cults.

I have to say that two of the characters interviewed throughout the new documentary really rubbed me the wrong way. Kathy Shroeder and David Thibodeau, are largely defiant in their interviews throughout the 3-part series, taking virtually no responsibility for their willful neglect for the lives of the children killed in the massacre. IMO, they are both responsible for murder, if not, certainly manslaughter, for failing to usher the innocent, brainwashed children of the cult out of the compound. They are as much guilty of keeping the children hostage as David Koresh is. Many people have plenty of opinions about how the government botched the operation. Many of their criticisms are somewhat warranted, but the government shouldn’t have ever had an operation at all to-be-botched! When the ATF shows up at your fucking doorstep with a warrant, you fucking LET THEM IN. You don’t friggen engage in a 45-minute firefight with heavy, armor piercing machine guns and then stand them off for 51 days with innocent children inside! What the fucking hell is/was wrong with you?

You are both child killers of children who died still believing Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Look, I understand what it is like to get roped into a cult. Many of the articles in this blog describe the processes and trickery involved in cult creation, and all of that was employed to an extreme at the Branch Davidian Compound.

As I wrote my book, “How to Sacrifice Your Lover“, I was simply writing… unaware of what was happening to me. It wasn’t until a decade later that I finally unraveled what how I was being abused and used… it wasn’t until a decade later that I plucked out all the psychological signals and manipulation employed to keep me in this little cult I was wrapped up in.

Ironically, the early chapters foreshadow it all. In one particular exchange, Yuki and Inari even discuss Yuki’s disdain for cults in all forms, secular and religious. It quickly leads to Inari telling Yuki that she cannot be with someone who doesn’t believe in God. Yuki is then forced to alter his beliefs on the weak promise that he might win Inari’s favor if he complies with her version of reality. If he doesn’t comply, he will lose her, the most important person in his life, forever. Yuki complies, and then finds himself a victim of cult abuse, wrapped in Inari’s own little cult of personality. He is even willing to believe that Inari has special powers, a 6th sense. I sometimes think that maybe, upon her learning of Yuki’s disdain for cults of all forms, secular and religious, maybe she thought it would be a fun challenge to see if she could gaslight Yuki into her own little cult of personality. Certainly, she won.

Cult leaders employ gaslighting techniques to create guru-disciple relationships. There are countless articles on this site relating to the formation of cults and guru-disciple relationships, and Kathy Shroeder and David Thibodeau should do well to fucking read a few of them!

I’ve taken my 11 Red Flags of Gaslighting and applied them to the Waco cult. These same 11 Red Flags are universal to all forms of gaslighting: relationship gaslighting, religious (Waco, Jonestown, Scientology… etc.), political (Trump), financial (Banking collapses, Crypto scams, Payday lenders), secular (self-help organizations, like Landmark Education, EST), corporate (Enron, Theranos), educational (Trump University and other scam colleges). This is how they align in Waco:

Red Flag #1: Withholding what is valuable to you

David Koresh was one of the most ballsy cult leaders in modern history. And one thing that always shocked people on the outside was how somehow he managed to convince husbands and wives to cease sexual activity with each other and for all the wives (and children) of his congregation to be subject to sex only with him. It would be unbelievable if written into a movie script, but in-fact it is what happened in real life. In effect, Koresh was training his congregation to “get on board” or be more or less excommunicated. On some occasions the husband or the wife might not be willing to accept his rules, and that would result in the splitting-up of a family as one partner might stay in the cult while the other has only a choice to either split up their family, affecting their children, or be subject to Koresh’s humiliating rules. Furthermore, David Koresh withheld many of the following things:

1. Resources: Koresh controlled the resources that were available to his followers, such as food, water, and money. He would sometimes restrict access to these resources, using them as a form of punishment or reward, and would often make his followers dependent on him for their basic needs.
2. Affection: Koresh used affection and attention as a form of withholding, sometimes withdrawing his affection or attention to punish those who didn’t follow his orders or to keep his followers off-balance and unsure of where they stood with him.
3. Freedom: Koresh controlled the freedom of his followers, both physically and mentally. He sometimes physically locked them up or kept them isolated from the outside world, and also controlled their access to information and ideas that might challenge his authority.
4. Decision-making power: Koresh controlled the decision-making power within the group, often making all major decisions himself and preventing others from having a say in how the group was run. This made his followers feel powerless and dependent on him for direction and guidance.

Red Flag #2: Words without action / words not matching actions

1. The promise of spiritual enlightenment: Koresh claimed to be a prophet with special insights into the Bible, and promised his followers that he could help them achieve spiritual enlightenment and salvation.
2. The promise of protection: Koresh told his followers that he had special powers that would protect them from harm, and that he would shield them from the dangers of the outside world.
3. The promise of a special mission: Koresh convinced his followers that they were part of a special mission to bring about the end of the world, and that only by following him could they fulfill this mission.
4. The promise of a new community: Koresh promised his followers that they would create a new community, free from the corruption and decadence of the outside world, where they could live in peace and harmony.
5. The promise of personal attention: Koresh promised his followers that he would give them personal attention and support, and that they would be part of a close-knit community where everyone looked out for each other.

Red Flag #3: Controlling sources of information

Koresh cut off their congregation largely from the rest of the world… the place didn’t even have running water. He spoke constantly of how the government was, one day, going to show up with tanks and they would have to go to war with them. The inhabitants of the compound worked tirelessly to prepare for the apocalypse that he prophesized would play out in their own doorstep. The congregation studied the Bible, or rather Koresh’s interpretation of it, long into the late-night hours every single day, giving Koresh huge influence over how the members viewed the world and veiling reality from them. Some gaslighting organizations physically cut themselves off from the world, while some simply bombard their congregations with alienating ideals, while creating a social structure that discourages defection and reintegration into normal society. Koresh seems to have used a blend of techniques, long, long bible lectures late into the night in a compound physically outside the city. The inhabitants of the Branch Davidian compound weren’t held against their will, but they often grew up in the cult, had their entire belief system shaped by Koresh, and therefore did not want to associate with normal society, even if they could jump in a car and drive into town.

Red Flag #4: Denying provable realities / rewriting versions of events

Some people seem to have a genetic predisposition to eating bullshit, and “religious leaders”, “prophets”, and “messiahs” are known to take advantage of it. To believe in a religion, no matter which, is to allow yourself to be manipulated by bullshit, and the only thing that the Branch Davidians did differently than other religions is practice an especially depraved brand of bullshit. In his final moments there are audio recordings of David discussing pouring fuel throughout the compound to burn it down, yet the “survivors” still blame the government for burning the place down. At any given moment the congregation could have come out of the building… but David had them all brainwashed into believing that they would be shot if they exited the burning building. Nobody who actually exited the building was shot, as it was burning, or at any time during “hostage” negotiations.

Red Flag #5: Making weak promises, unkept, upon completion of certain tasks

1. The promise of spiritual enlightenment: Koresh claimed to be a prophet with special insights into the Bible, and promised his followers that he could help them achieve spiritual enlightenment and salvation.
2. The promise of protection: Koresh told his followers that he had special powers that would protect them from harm and that he would shield them from the dangers of the outside world.
3. The promise of a special mission: Koresh convinced his followers that they were part of a special mission to bring about the end of the world, and that only by following him could they fulfill this mission.
4. The promise of a new community: Koresh promised his followers that they would create a new community, free from the corruption and decadence of the outside world, where they could live in peace and harmony.
5. The promise of personal attention: Koresh promised his followers that he would give them personal attention and support and that they would be part of a close-knit community where everyone looked out for each other.

These promises were often accompanied by charismatic and persuasive rhetoric, and were reinforced by the other tactics Koresh used to maintain control over his followers. While these promises may have been appealing to some, they were ultimately empty and unfulfilled, and were used to keep members of the group dependent on Koresh for their sense of identity, purpose, and security.

Red Flag #6: Vilifying defectors

Branch Davidians who left or were expelled from the group were not allowed to have contact with their families. If they were in contact with the outside, Koresh made sure that everyone living in the compound was so at odds with the rest of the world, they would alienate their own families willingly.

Red Flag #7: Positive reinforcement used as confusion

1. Praise and recognition: Koresh would often praise and recognize those members of the group who were most loyal to him. He would give them special privileges and attention, and would often hold them up as examples for others to follow.
2. Rewards and incentives: Koresh would also use rewards and incentives to motivate his followers. He would promise them special privileges, gifts, or recognition for their loyalty and obedience.
3. Emotional support: Koresh would provide emotional support to his followers, often acting as a father figure or mentor to them. He would offer advice, guidance, and encouragement, and would create a sense of belonging and community among the group.
4. Spiritual validation: Koresh claimed to have special insights into the Bible, and would use this to validate the spiritual experiences of his followers. He would often tell his followers that they were special or chosen by God, and that their loyalty and obedience were proof of their spiritual worth.
5. Group cohesion: Koresh would encourage a sense of group cohesion and identity among his followers, often using rituals and ceremonies to create a sense of unity and purpose. He would often refer to the group as a family, and would use this to reinforce loyalty and obedience.

Red Flag #8: Using confusion as a weakening mechanism

1. Sleep deprivation: Members of the group were often kept awake for long periods of time, which can lead to confusion, disorientation, and a weakened ability to think critically.
2. Fear: Koresh used fear to control his followers, telling them that the end of the world was imminent and that only the members of the Branch Davidian group would be saved. He also used physical punishment and threats of violence to keep members in line.
3. Emotional manipulation: Koresh used emotional manipulation to create a sense of dependency among his followers. He would praise and reward those who were loyal to him, while punishing or ostracizing those who questioned his authority. Koresh had authoritarian control over the entire congregation, and could punish or reward as he saw fit.

Red Flag #9: Aligning people against each other… “they’re all liars”

Clearly it was an “us vs. them situation” at the compound, they were stockpiling grenades, automatic weapons, and armor piercing 50 caliber guns at the compound, along with millions of rounds of ammunition.

Red Flag #10: Wearing down slowly with time

The Branch Davidians didn’t always believe in this whacky stuff. In fact the organization existed long before David Koresh came around. Allegedly he won favor of the owner of the compound, 50 year his senor, through seduction., and when she died, murdered her son to wrestle control of the compound away from him. Once he had control of the cult, he gradually brought forth new revelations that eventually led to some of the weird practices of exclusive sexual access to all the wives and little girls.

Red Flag #11: Blatant lies

It’s religion… it’s lies, don’t argue with me on that bullshit.

Being somewhat of a cult survivor myself, I have since viewed the entire world through a gaslit lens. I am hyper-sensitive to this stuff. Gaslighting is really everywhere… it is in the movies we watch, the banks we put our money into, the cars we buy… in effect, any exchange of a logical construct (e.g. money) for emotional satisfaction can be categorized as a form of gaslighting. When you watch an exciting movie, you’re being gaslit as you suspend your reality briefly to be thrilled by some wild adventure in exchange for a $15 ticket and some overpriced popcorn. Movies, plays, and fiction are, by nature, essentially lies… intended to invoke a tickle in your brain that makes you feel rewarded when you think of, dream of, fantasy… Religion… no different. Political cults, like the MAGA movement… no different. Secular cults tied to “get rich quick” pyramid schemes… no different… all gaslighting… all cults… all lies.

So… to Kathy and David, I know… I get it… you were in a cult.. you were manipulated… brainwashed… I’ve been there… but you need to GET THE FUCK OUT.. .and it seems an awful lot like you’re still apologists for David Koresh and his bullshit.

Branch Davidians David Koresh David Thibodeau Kathy Shroeder Waco